Saturday, March 31, 2018

W.O.C.K On Vinyl: Les Patterson - 12 Inches of Les The Album (1985)

Before things get too serious here at Rock On Vinyl, I thought it might be fun to post a song / album at the end of each month, that could be categorized as being either Weird, Obscure, Crazy or just plain Korny.
From the desk of:
Dr. Sir Leslie Colin Patterson, K.B.E.

Dear Music Lover,

I’m Australia’s best loved diplomat, no worries, but I’m certainly no kill-joy or blue-nosed wowser, to use an old ethnic Australian expression.

An old mate of mine Ken (Tommo) Thompson, who’s been kicking around the upper echelons of the P.R. Rag-Trade Media traps for yonks, first introduced me to the raunchy sound of Country Music. I heard it and I liked it, little dreaming that a couple of years later I’d be laying down these chart-bustin' tracks.

In my capacity as Emeritus Vice-Chancellor of the London School of Australian Studies, Shadow Cultural Attache to the Court of St. James and Chairperson of the Australian Chapter of the World Cheese Authority, I’m a self-taught singer. Currently, the voice you hear on this microgroove is completely ‘natural’ and ‘untrained’ in terms of singing.

Yet these tracks, mostly crafted by Aussie’s award-winning and internationally acclaimed songsmiths, Barry Humphries and Diane Millstead and arranged by ace muso David Mackay, have already had hard-nosed critics using adverbs like ‘comparatively nice’ and ‘quite acceptable’.

I guess you could say I am the acceptable voice of the Post Nashville Sound as we know it Down Under. I am also an up-market Johnny Cash and a thinking man’s Leonard Cohen. There’s even a bit of Dolly Parton in me, though I wouldn’t mind an even bigger bit of me in Dolly Parton. Are you with me?

This is a family record. Take it on your holiday with you and you’ll end up with a family.

It remains for me to thank Bob England and Tim Prior of Towerbell Records for making this waxing the fun it sounds and the Australian Cheese Board (literary and musical archives division) for paying the band, though let’s face it , Cliff Hall on keyboards, Chris Rae on guitar, Paul Westwood on bass and Graham Jarvis on drums would all have done it for nothing. No worries.

All the best,
Sir Les Patterson

This month's WOCK on vinyl is yet another Barry Humphries (aka Les Patterson) gem, requested by the blog follower 'Real Deal' just recently.  Les Patterson is another one of Humphries fictional characters - obese, lecherous and offensive. However, Patterson is Dame Edna Everage's exact opposite: she is female, refined, Protestant and from Melbourne; while Les is male, uncouth, Roman Catholic and from Sydney.
Because these recordings are Wicked and Offensive, they fit nicely into the WOCK charter, and I'm sure sure your'e going to love these comical and  riskee' ditties. My favourite of course is the single "Give Her One For Christmas" which only features 7 Inches of Les!
Because the songs run into one another with Patterson's never ending hilarious dialogue, I have chosen to rip each side of the album as a single file to retain the continuity of the entertainment.  Ripped from Vinyl in MP3 (320kps) format, this post includes full album artwork and label scans.

A1 Sir Les Intro (Genuine Reprise)
A2 Role Model For All Australian Ministers For The Yartz Discusses Diplomacy & Diversification
A3 Genuine
A4 Lady Gwen Former Hand Model (The Woman Behind The Statesman)
A5 My Old Lady
A6 Vinyl Venues, San Quentin Or Wormwood Scrubs?
A7 Give Her One For Christmas (A Seasonal Chartbuster)
A8 You Can't Win 'Em All
A9 Help Me Make It Through The Night +
B1 Patterson's Pointers On Political Pitfalls
B2 Never Trust A Man Who Doesn't Drink (Blue Nosed Wowser)
B3 Les Exposes Himself And The Odd Masonic Secret
B4 Motel Mini Bar
B5 It's Stiff Cheddar, Chairing The Cheeseboard
B6 Song Of Thanks
B7 Sir Les Outro & Encore
B8 Desert Island Dilemmas
B9 Bangkok Chiropody
B10  13,000 Miles


  1. digging all the cool stuff on your site. I have downloaded this one though and it wont open. Maybe an error on the file ? Cheers COL

    1. Hi Joeboy. I think you'll find you need to update your version of WinRAR - I had the same problem. It's free to upgrade

    free software and works perfect

  3. Thanks so much for posting the 12 inches of Les Album. I have the vinyl myself, however no turntable alas. It is a great copy. Much appreciated. Real Deal